Signs your New York summer is waning

August 8, 2011 § Leave a comment

Your Grace Kelly Intern Pants have shrunk to flood-length and you seriously almost wept upon removing them from the dryer

Your internet-less apartment has led you to nearly throw a tantrum in a café when their router won’t let you connect

You have calculated exactly how much money you can spend without overdrawing, per diem, and intend to spend at least half of it on macaroni and cheese

You have seriously debated the merits of eating Babycakes biscuits for dinner

Speaking of food, you’re hungry but really hate the idea of more grocery shopping and resort to eating hard-boiled-egg sandwiches for 2 meals a day

You are finally going to watch The Social Network, which you had to torrent at a café, and which has become the “Chinese Democracy” of your summer*

If you read one more manuscript that misuses a common figure of speech (e.g., “gazuntite” or “a hair’s breath”) you may actually stab your computer

You are seriously considering letting a strange German girl sublet your sublet for $300 for two weeks (this is a bargain) because you just want to get something, anything, for it

You have come to realize that perhaps the reason Yoga to the People can afford to be pay-what-you-want is that you pay for the class by sweating out every last drop of precious bodily fluid during class

You go to see “The Change Up,” alone, with a bag of Fritos, because 1. it’s hot and you need A/C 2. it’s the only movie you HAVEN’T seen that’s playing at the AMC to which you have an “admit one free” ticket and 3. you really wanted some salt after aforementioned yoga class

You miss waking up with a poodle blanket and wish you could have a day of mindlessly watching cable before making dinner with co-op groceries and box wine with a Bailey’s chaser

*credit to Eli aka David Ottlinger for this quip

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