How I Will Spend My Summer Vacation

I have discovered the secret to making any activity a Summer Recreation: do it as normal, but go outside. It works for literally anything: movies, meals, plays, grocery shopping, reading, daydrinking, etc. etc. Sure, it gets exhausting being in the hot sun or getting drenched in a surprise thunderstorm, but do not be deterred! There are plenty of stinging insects to distract you!

But actually, outside things are great: I have watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and All’s Well That Ends Well al fresco and they have literally been some of the most pleasant evenings I can recently recall. I also have the advantage of having access to my building’s roof (the tradeoff for living on the 6th floor of a walkup) so I can fairly easily scamper out and do what I will above the riffraff. (Most often, “what I will” is drinking beer or desperately trying to get cell phone reception).

For those of you not similarly blessed, a great method to while away all those New York Minutes you find yourself burdened with is to pack a book and head for a park. Chances are, something entertaining is going on there, like a spontaneous flashmob dance or a really passionate Mormon prayer vigil. If else: you have a book! Read! When that gets boring, people-watch. Play a pretend drinking game where each language you hear equals a shot (note: don’t actually drink or you may die). Go to the dog run and count the Great Danes–there will be plural amounts of them, trust me. Wander to Whole Foods and buy a gluten/nut/corn-free chocolate bar and have it for lunch on your way downtown. When creepy vaguely-European accented guys ask you if you are a model, shrug and turn up Nickel Creek while striding off as quickly as your maxi dress will let you.

I have a feeling that most of these things could have used a bottle of rosé or prosecco in there, but I haven’t yet had a chance to visit Trader Joe’s Wine Shop and besides, wine attracts bees.