For Sale: Coed Shoes, Barely Worn (FREE SHIPPING!!!!)

May 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’m spending this miserably goddamned cold weather not exercising (even though I told myself I would, oh well) and instead brainstorming ways to make 800 bucks. I need this to fill the gap between my grant from school (yes, I actually WON something. On my own merit! I couldn’t believe it either. I’ve never even won a raffle, and I’m pretty sure the odds are more in my favor there) and the actual bare minimum cost of living for a summer in New York City.

I know, I know, it’s like, poor little rich girl, can’t afford her fancy unpaid internship. But hey! I don’t want to have to boil vitamins in water and call it soup (though I am not above that, especially if someone has any expired vitamins they’re willing to donate). But if I eventually want to be one of those writers whose byline reads “Blair Thornburgh is a writer living in New York City/Brooklyn” like 90% of the cool girls at the Hairpin, I am going to have to 1. get to New York and 2. not die of starvation or exposure.

I have managed to find a place to live (OMG) and it even has a mattress (OMFG) and it’s actually in Manhattan (WTF). But compared to the only other rent I’ve ever paid, it ain’t cheap. A solution must be found. Since my two main skills are Worrying About Money and Using The Internet, I’m making a mental budget and trying to hawk some of my old crap possessions on eBay. Of course, I don’t possess much to begin with, so I’m basically trying to rid myself of a few unworn pieces of clothing and that one pair of shoes that never really fit. And my budget is something like okay, I can probably get by on $50 worth of food a week. But what about wine? I guess I’ll drink a lot of two-buck chuck. How much are metrocards? Maybe I can walk everywhere. No! People in New York take the subway. Or do they? Will muggers take gift cards?

This also has the side effect of making me view every object as its potential resale value, which I then transmute into how much I could buy with it. DSLR? I think you mean $300 = a summer’s worth of Brand X beans and rice = almost all my commuting expenses = 30 yoga classes. Would I rather own that kind of cute vintage-esque dress I never wear or a box of pasta? If I charge too much for shipping I could even afford sauce!

On the plus side, I think “The Girl who Lived on Groupons and Free Cheese from Gallery Openings” would be an excellent stunt memoir. I smell a book deal! Or cash advance! Or enough for at least 10 bottles of two-buck chuck!

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