Le jeu de dating

January 30, 2011 § 1 Comment

One of my classes requires me to do basically nothing else but plow through romances of medieval France week after week. Yes, it’s awesome.

The downside is that if you are a heroine in a romance, that means that you are 1. probably the queen and 2. dating kind of a loser. Courtly love is literally nothing but anguishing ALL THE TIME. If there were Ye Olde Personals, I can’t imagine that anyone would ever get responses (and not just because they lacked sufficient infrastructure for a reliable postal service)

Tristan
Known for: Being the king’s nephew, lamenting, talking to statues that look like his lover, marrying chicks with the same name as his lover just to spite her, having an opera written about him, being played by James Franco once

Lancelot
Known for: Riding in a cart with a dwarf, walking across the Bridge of the Sword, entering tournaments in disguise for reasons that are unclear even to him, it would seem, being le meilleur chevalier du monde and constantly being referred to as such, Spamalot

Arthur
Known for: Being played by Graham Chapman, saying “par ma foi” all the time, being totally oblivious that his wife is banging his fave knight, possibly being related to a dragon

Alexandre
Known for: Having two different colored eyes, possibly being bisexual, killing his Dad, believing in Jesus before Jesus existed, apparently, naming a city Buciphalopolis or something after his horse died and he was really upset

Every story has lots of questing and fighting and invoking God, and sometimes it gets exciting and there are dwarves and fairies and blood gushing everywhere. But, as my aunt would say, “they all die in the end”*.

*Except in La mort du roi Arthur, which, despite the title, had not had the death occur yet and I’m seven hundred pages in. Yeah.

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